What are Family Constellations?
These are some of our Frequently Asked Questions. If you have a question that doesn’t appear in the list please send us an email to: consultorio@centroconstela.com
Why are Family Constellations useful?
Family Constellations have two primary purposes that are aimed at solving entanglements that have caused the loss of freedom of thought and action of each individual:
1. The first one is to uncover the reasons for being excluded from a certain system which can be related to our family, our work or any other human organization. .
2. The second purpose is to discover the invisible loyalties to other members of our system..
For an individual to recover his/her freedom of thought and action it is not enough to be aware of the problem. In this sense, Family Constellations provides with tools to dissolve these entanglements while changing our attitude towards ourselves and our families flowing into transformation through love.
Family Constellations can help you deal with:
- The loss of loved ones.
- Traumatic separations.
- Violence in or outside of the family system (wars, homicides, suicides, etc.)
- Abortions.
- Abandonment.
- The inverted order of hierarchies within the family or company system.
- Fatal accidents.
- Premature deaths.
- Rejection.
- Omissions or neglects.
- Addictions.
- Depression.
- Financial problems.
- Illness.
- Divorce.
What are Family Constellations??
Family Constellations are a type of systemic therapy developed by Bert Hellinger.
It is the representation of a space in the present, of an internalized image of our ancestral family or of our family today. These bonds contain invisible loyalties that we have towards our ancestors. That is, we have an internalized image about the bonds that connect us to our family. That image, through the constellation, when externalized – as if it was a picture -, will reveal the hidden dynamics that exist in your immediate family or in your direct family.
The aim of Family Constellations is to find the hidden dynamics of our systemic entanglements and to show a specific fact of your life in a different way and recognize that we are all part of the destiny of the people we are related to, whether we know them or not. Deep down, we are lovingly linked to all ofwo the members of our clan through invisible identifications and loyalties.
A Family Constellation is a group process that we call a “learning group” where a circle is formed and in the middle there is a space called “knowledge space”. Participants in that space are chosen to represent the people of the consultant’s family and clan, but in these representations, unlike theatre performances, there are no gestures or mime. What determines the feelings is the place that each representative occupies in that family system. The paradox is that by representing or only observing what happens within the constellation of another consultant, you may gain insight on your own issues.
Those who come to seek advice about a traumatic event in their lives (and almost everyone has one) generally lack, in thought and behavior a force that allows them to flourish, as there is something that blocks or stops them. The unblocking consists on separating the consultant from the traumatic event and to reconnect him in a different way with his own resources. There are specific events, family exclusions, accidents, premature deaths, assaults, rejections, omissions or neglects that are displayed in the Constellation. Descriptions are not looked into but concrete events are.
Family Constellations are theoretically based on psychoanalysis, Gestalt therapy, systemic family therapy, hypnotherapy and neurolinguistics principles.
In Family Constellations we do not speak about patients but about “consultants” and the facilitator does not act as a “therapist”. Nevertheless, we do believe that what is thus revealed will act slowly and silently upon the person’s soul, their conscience and their behavior, which will accelerate the learning process about themselves. The healing power is a secondary effect, something that happens. But the healing process is carried out by each individual.
It is said that 70% of the psychological problems that affect us come from our family history and relationships. The child, through blind love, adopts relationships and takes burdens that will make his adult life difficult.
A Family Constellation quickly sheds light on the dynamics that cause suffering and, if the appropriate circumstances arise, will fix them in that very moment.
This approach differs from others by its extreme rapidity. In one Constellation (lasting in average 1 hour) the issue causing problems comes out and is addressed by the consultant, as opposed to processes that can last years in other types of therapies such as psychoanalysis.
The working method is based on working in a group using representatives (although there are individual sessions as well).
El alcance del trabajo no se limita a la persona que ha hecho su Constelación, sino también a su sistema familiar, ya que cuando un elemento del sistema se mueve, todos se recolocan a su vez, encontrando un mejor equilibrio. Asimismo, el trabajo de una persona en su Constelación también afecta al resto de participantes del Taller, ya que muchísimas problemáticas son comunes, en menor o mayor grado, a las del resto de participantes.
«ONLY BY LOOKING AT REALITY TO THE FULLEST
ARE WE IN A STATE OF PROFOUND HUMILITY THAT CONNECTS US WITH ALL THAT UNDERLIES AND CREATES THE CERTAINTY THAT BEHIND EVERYTHING, THERE IS AN ULTIMATE PURPOSE».
Bert Hellinger
The origin of Family Constellations
Family Constellations originated almost 25 years ago. Back then Bert Hellinger formed the first group of Family Constellations facilitators, which included Lorenz Wiest, international director of Family Constellations Training and director of the Hellinger Landshut Institute in Germany. The therapy soon became known in several countries in Europe and in Israel, Palestine, Latin America, the United States and Asia.
I want to constellate
Often the process involves two phases:
Uninitiated: You have never attended a workshop and you believe that you need more information before plunging in. You may ask acquaintances, search about the subject on the Internet or call a Facilitator to request more information, however the bad news is that Family Constellations are not something that can be easily understood. Any explanation that you receive will be partial or incomplete, and will probably create a distorted image. The only way for you to fully grasp the concept is to participate in one of the Center’s intensive workshops.
Connoisseur: Now the problem is different. You know how it all works, but the following inconveniences often appear:
I cannot allow myself to pay for a Workshop
The average price of a weekend workshop is around $115 or $150 USD, which is a pretty reasonable price if we compare it to the innumerable sessions of conventional therapy that are necessary to achieve the same goal. At Constela Center we frequently offer payment plans and programs of special scholarships that adapt to your budget. The important thing is for money not to be the reason that doesn’t allow you to start or continue with your personal transformation process.
Can I constellate someone else’s problem?
Indeed you can, provided the fact that the person belongs to your immediate family like your husband/wife or your children (e.g. a son’s difficult situation) or to your direct family (e.g. a brother’s difficult situation). However it is important to take notice of the reason why you feel compelled to work on this situation. It is not advisable to work on the situations of more distant relatives such as uncles or nephews.
How should I prepare to constellate?
First of all it is VERY important for you to gather as much information as possible as you can about significant events in your family of origin which includes your parents, uncles, grandparents, great grandparents, and the previous couples of your parents and grandparents. Some significant events may include: deaths before the 30 years of age or when a son or daughter is very young, homicides -civilian or military-, sexual abuse, addictions, inheritance frauds and others. It is crucial to consider events and members of the family that have been excluded, such as «black sheep», abortions or family secrets. In any case it is irrelevant to mention psychological descriptions such as «my mother was controlling» or «my father was abusive», etc.
After having identified significant events in your family, it is important for you to choose the subject you want to work on, which may be that which causes you continued suffering and repeats itself in your life. If you are still unclear about your subject, you may define it during the first working day of the intensive workshop, when we will use different tools such as meditation, the gestalt approach and bio-energetics, which will help you define what you want to work on (Go to Workshops).
What are the next steps after I have constellated?
Constellations act when we leave them exactly as we saw them. Any discussion on its content destroys the image.
The same principle applies when you have just finished constellating. If any other participant of the workshop approaches you and asks you how it has been or what you’ll do now he is boycotting your experience. It is awful to invade someone else’s soul as if we had the right to do so, and no person does. Furthermore it is important not to comfort another participant as this person is strong. The person trying to comfort the other one is in fact the weak one and uses the latter to comfort himself.
Do not interfere. And this applies to every aspect of Family Constellations. The person that has just constellated doesn’t need to take immediate action after. This is not how it works. Instead, the image has to be left untouched, as the images work by just being there and eventually your soul will gain the necessary strength to do the right changes. Everything that is good and correct will be different to what you have just seen. Your soul is even wiser than you and in the end one follows his own soul and musters the strength we need.
What’s the theory behind constellations?
The theoretical foundations of Family Constellations contain some principles of psychoanalysis, Gestalt therapy, systemic family therapy, hypnotherapy and neurolinguistic programming.
One of the basics of Family Constellations is quantum physics, based on the idea that the family history affects the individual personality, molding our values, attitudes and beliefs. In the end it is about each of us assuming our responsibilities and returning whatever we have taken from others and doesn’t belong to us, which acts upon our soul, conscience and behavior.
The healing power that the person obtains is a complementary effect that emerges from the healing process within the constellation, eliminating the pathologies in each system and solving the karma of the consultant and the system where he/she interacts.
Bert Hellinger’s amazing findings were inspired in his experiences with a Zulu tribe in South Africa. While spending time with the Zulu tribe Hellinger learned about the bonds of respect and patience that exist among its members, which belong to a family and at the same time to a greater system. Whatever happens in the present or in the past to one of the members of the family or the system influences the rest of the members.
By identifying the reason or cause of an entanglement or blockage that hinders the free flowing of a member within the family system, true healing begins to take place, and this affects not only that member but also the rest of them. It is like a domino effect. A chain reaction occurs when a small change causes a similar change nearby, which then will cause another similar change, and so on. In this way the energy that had been blocked until now will start flowing again as every individual’s soul contains the information about unsolved karmas from previous lives at the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels.
In practice the facilitator provides with the space and time that the participant needs to constellate. By flowing with the energy the participant will choose a position among the representatives of the members of his/her system. The energy will then move every member accordingly.
The participant will select a representative for himself and a representative for every one of the members of the problem and with the energetic motion of thoughts and feelings, along with the body and the spirit, the energy will start flowing and the necessary conditions to solve the problem will emerge as if by magic.
The key for the process to work is for every participant to accept that energy is in fact flowing and that this motion rapidly sheds light upon the dynamics that cause suffering but also to the appropriate circumstances that can solve a problem. All this happens simultaneously and very quickly.
The influence of Family Constellations goes far beyond solving the problem of the participant as it also moves his family system through achieving a better balance, solving common problems. This is the reason why the people selected to act as representatives, also find insights about their own situations. The surprising thing is that neither the participant nor the representatives are previously acquainted and both parts ignore their personal histories.